


Spots Off

by ethereon



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Anxiety, Chat Noir!Connor, Completely self-indulgent and unbetaed, Identity Reveal, Ladybug!Evan, M/M, Miraculous Ladybug AU, Sort Of, talking about feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 12:25:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12984045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethereon/pseuds/ethereon
Summary: Miraculous Ladybug AUWhen Evan dons his mask, he becomes the beloved superhero, Ladybeetle, and he learns to put up his facade and smile for the cameras, becoming someone else who doesn't fade into the background. It's fine. Really. It only really becomes an issue when someone wants to tear down his walls and see him for who he really is.





	Spots Off

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like an hour and a half procrastinating because formative deadlines are coming and I've been listening to the DEH soundtrack on repeat for the past 3 weeks. I have feelings and I don't know what to do with them.

“I think we should reveal our identities to each other.”

His words make Evan’s blood run cold, rooting him to where he sat as his mind completely shuts down. “W-what?”

“Think about what happened today. It was a mess and if you hadn’t shown up when you did-“

Chat’s voice becomes a blur in his mind as panic sets in. What. He wants to know who he is under the mask and Evan isn’t sure he can handle it right now, exposing himself to his closest friend. Maybe he’ll abandon him when he realises, maybe he’ll never want to see him again, find him weird, strange, a freak. By the time Evan finds his bearings again, Chat Noir is looking at him expectedly, and he realises he has to say something.

“I… N-no. It could be dangerous.”

Chat scoffs. “Ladybeetle, we fight akumas every other day using magical powers granted to us by tiny gods and jewellery. I think our job is dangerous enough-“

“But what if one of us gets controlled? Turned against the other? We’re only safe because Hawkmoth doesn’t know who we are.”

“We accepted the risks when we accepted our miraculous. Shouldn’t we do everything we can to beat Hawkmoth?”

“Okay…” Evan’s brain is running at a mile a minute, desperately trying to think of some kind of excuse. Anything. Anything but this. “But what about our families? They didn’t agree to this. We’d be putting them in needless danger if Hawkmoth found out, he could target them, they could get hurt, they’ll never be able to live in peace for as long as he-“

Chat’s eyes narrow, almost flashing in anger. “Who cares?”

That throws him off.

“I-I do!” It’s all Evan manages to say but he sees Chat visibly stiffen at his protest.

“Right, of course.” His tone is bitter. “Look, I’m sorry but I think the benefits far outweigh the risks. We’re superheroes, Ladybeetle, and it comes with the job description. We need to be able to contact each other outside of the suit, because if the next akuma arrives and one of us doesn’t know.” Chat’s pointed look tells him everything. He as a point.

_But what about me_ , he wants to say, but the words fail to escape.

“I… see.” Ladybeetle gets up, brushing the dust off his suit. It’s deep into the night and the chill of the cold in his lungs sharpens his mind to the unease he feels. “I have to go, if I’m not home when...” Evan trails off, wincing internally. Family has always been a sore issue, for both of them, and he regrets bringing it up. “I just need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, or whenever the next akuma appears.”

“Hold on-“

“Good night, Chat.”

“Ladybeetle…”

Evan flees the scene with his words tumbling in his mouth and mind spinning. The very thought of putting himself out there makes him feel sick and he just wants to get home and curl up in the warmth of his bed. He just needs to sleep and he’ll deal with the monster creeping into his head tomorrow.

 

* * *

 

 

The next akuma is tough but they arrive on the scene at the same time.

“Hey, Ladybeetle, about the other day- Woah!” Chat leaps out of the way of a car tossed in his direction by the latest akuma victim.

“Not now, Chat.” Ladybeetle is breathing heavily, looking around frantically for anything he can use.

“I just think-” A lamp post. “-we should talk about this-“ A truck this time. “-Some more!”

“I think we’re a little preoccupied right now!”

The fight ends with a fist bump that’s second nature by now and Chat finds Ladybeetle comforting a young woman, an office worker fed up with how her colleagues treated her in the workplace.

“Listen, we have time now-“ Chat is cut off by the beeping of their miraculous and he can’t find the energy to suppress his groan.

Ladybeetle smiles, exhausted. “Another time Chat, the transformation is about to wear off.”

 

* * *

 

 

Chat knows Ladybeetle still has a few minutes left at the end of their next battle but he can’t find him anywhere. He slips away with a scarily practiced ease and he knows he won’t see him until the next akuma.

 

* * *

 

 

Evan knows he can’t run after this fight. Neither of them had to use their power and Chat never took his eyes off him, even when he was flung into the river as a result of his… lapse of attention. He’s avoiding Chat, but neither or them say it. They don’t have to.

He tries to slip away but of course, Chat catches him.

“Ladybeetle, wait!” There’s something in Chat Noir’s voice that makes him stop, but he doesn’t turn around. It’s not quite desperation not frustration but Evan _knows_ it. “I- Give me a chance to talk. Urgh! Hold up. Wait, we don’t have to talk about this anymore if you don’t want to. I can drop it. I just- I just don’t want to fuck up one of the few relationships I give a damn about anymore. I really like you, okay? And I don’t want things to change because I was too stupid to see where the boundaries were, and I know you don’t want to talk about our civilian lives but I’ll tell you this, Ladybeetle, I’m a mess. I’ve always been a fucking screw up and you, this, the miraculous… They were the best things that have ever happened to me and I think I just blew it-“

“I-it’s okay, Chat.” His voice is shaky, but Evan manages a thin smile. “I just need time to think.”

“About us?”

“About everything. You’re my partner, Chat, my best friend and the person who I trust to have my back when no one else does-“ Chat opens his mouth to say something, likely a snark against his own abilities, but thankfully decides against it. “-so don’t think that this is about not trusting you, because I do. I-I just have some issues of my own to work out first.” He gently punches Chat on the shoulder and Ladybeetle’s smile of charm returns. “Good work out there, Chat.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Where’s the akuma?” Chat comes tumbling onto the rooftop where Ladybeetle is waiting, staff out and ready to fight.

Evan shrugs. “There isn’t one, I just wanted to talk.”

Chat splutters in protest. “What? Then how did you know I would- The Ladyblog.” He groans. “You used Alana and my constant need to refresh the Ladyblog against me.”

Ladybeetle’s grin tells him enough. “I’ve done a lot of thinking, and-“

“I don’t think we should reveal out identities anymore!” Chat blurts out before Ladybeetle can say anything.

“Huh? Chat wait-“

“I mean, you’re clearly uncomfortable with it and I’m sorry I didn’t see that before.”

“You’re not wrong but-“

“I value our partnership more than anything else and it was stupid of me to jeopardise it all for something like this-“

“I-“

“We’ll do this when we’re both ready, I promise I won’t bring it up again so please-“

“Chat! Let me speak!”

Ladybeetle takes a set at the edge of the rooftop, patting the place beside him for Chat to sit down. “I think you’re right.”

“What.”

Ladybeetle looks wholly unimpressed by his flat tone. “I told you, I’ve done a lot of thinking and I’ve come to the conclusion that we _should_ reveal our identities.”

 “But everything you said about keeping ourselves safe? And our families?”

“Chat, honestly? They were just excuses.” Ladybeetle sighs, casting his gaze down towards the city below. “I was just scared.”

“Of what?” His tone is that of disbelief. “You? Scared? I saw you face a 20ft monster that looked like a transformer gone wrong and you didn’t even flinch. You’re Ladybeetle!”

Evan lets out a hollow laugh. “That’s the thing though. What if you found out that when I’m me, just me without the mask, I’m not like Ladybeetle at all. I’m just an awkward little kid who no one notices and no one cares about because I’m not brave or confident or charming or anything like the Ladybeetle you know. I’m a mess and I’m absolutely terrified that you’ll hate me if you got to know the real me, and everything will change and-“ He starts to ramble and the night air gets to his head and-

“It’s okay.”

“Huh?”

Chat’s smile is a little sad and a little wry. “Didn’t you hear me before? I’m a mess too. I fuck up every relationship I’m in and I can barely hold a conversation with my parents without losing my shit. People don’t want to be around me, they like the image of me, I skip classes and I stopped giving a damn about everything years ago- that is… Until I met you.”

“Chat…” Ladybeetle’s breath hitches in his throat and he feels his nose tingle.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is… We can be messes together and that’s probably okay. Maybe.” Chat turns to smile at his partner- “Woah! Are you crying? Did I say something wrong? Fuck, Ladybeetle, I-”

“Ch-Chat, it’s alright.” He tries to laugh it off, furiously rubbing his eyes. “I think I’ve only just realised that you’re the best thing to have happened to me too. I mean, deep down I think I’ve always known, but it’s taken this entire mess for me to figure it all out.” He pauses. “I hated it when we weren’t talking. I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

Chat rubs his partner’s back gingerly and strangely enough, it’s comforting. Evan leans into his touch, running through all of the breathing techniques drilled into his head. _In for seven, out for eleven, in for seven, out for eleven_. He composes himself, and they sit like that for a while, sharing in each other’s warmth and just being _there_.

“I think I can hear your heart beat,” Ladybeetle whispers, and it’s oddly intimate. “That or my own heart is pounding so quickly that I can hear the blood rushing through my ears. I can’t tell.”

Chat laughs, properly laughs, and moves in closer. “Me too.”

Ladybeetle takes a deep breath. “I-I think I’m ready to take the next step.” He takes hold of Chat’s hand and closes his eyes.

“Together,” Chat murmurs, squeezing gently.

“Tikki, spots off.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm weak for Miraculous AUs and I haven't slept in a while. Thank you for reading! Please yell at me about miraculous/DEH things.
> 
> Also: I don't remember who used Ladybeetle first but it might have been [Yaushie](http://yaushie.tumblr.com/) with her genderbend AU so credit to her ^^


End file.
